


I'll Be In My Bunk (Now With 100% More Veggies)

by thetreesgrowodd



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Face Slapping, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Vegetables, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 07:22:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetreesgrowodd/pseuds/thetreesgrowodd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows that Leonardo loves Captain Ryan from <i>Space Heroes.</i> Raphael accidentally discovers just how deep that love goes.</p><p>I'm not sure how the vegetables got in there. <span class="small"><i>That's what he said.</i></span></p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be In My Bunk (Now With 100% More Veggies)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a kink meme prompt.

Raphael heard a strange sound in the lair and automatically tensed. That couldn't have been Leo, could it? But everyone else was out, running laps and doing push-ups in the sewer with Splinter, as punishment for that incident with the stray puppy, the burnt microwave popcorn, and Splinter's second-best silk kimono. Raph should be with them right now, but he'd snuck away for a quick break. Only Leo had escaped the punishment, as he'd been the one who returned the puppy to the surface, shut off the microwave, and attempted to mend the scraps of silk. He'd rubbed it in too, that goody two shoes, bragging about how he was going to sleep in and enjoy having the lair to himself.

There it was again! It had to be Leo. It sounded like a moan. Raph followed the sounds – now low mumbling, now a sharp crack, now more moaning — to Leo's door. It was closed, but not tightly. They'd salvaged the old door from a junk pile, and it never quite fit right. Raph touched it and it opened slightly, just enough for him to see Leo on the bed.

Leo writhed and groaned. He must be having a nightmare. Raph was sure that the proper etiquette when your brother was having a nightmare was to wake him up. Or stand and listen to his mumblings so you could razz him about it later. He couldn't remember which, so he decided to do the latter until the nightmare seemed to have run its course, followed by doing the former.

"Make it so..." Leo mumbled. Raph tiptoed closer. Leo was lying on his side, facing away from the door, gyrating a bit. "Captain. Oh!"

He was dreaming about that stupid TV show! Oh, Leo would never, ever live this down! Raph crossed his arms triumphantly and stood over Leo, listening to his escalating groans. It had been bad enough when Leo put those stupid posters up, but now he was even dreaming about –

Leo raised his hand and slapped his own face, hard, the cracking sound shockingly loud. Raph gaped at him. Surely, not even Leo could do that while asleep! Leo's moans faded into a whimper, then in a clear voice he said, "Thank you, Captain, I needed that."

Alarmed, Raph reached for Leo's shell to shake him awake, but froze when Leo ran his hand from his own plastron, to his side, up and over the edge of his shell, and down toward... Raph blinked stupidly. What was that thing sticking out from under Leo's shell – he didn't – it couldn't be – there was just _no way_ Leo had a carrot stuck up his ass.

A fucking carrot! _Literally!_ Leo began to move it in and out of himself, sighing, "Oh, Captain, yes! Do me! Mmm."

Dumbfounded Raph stepped backwards toward the door, never taking his eyes off of those orange inches that were disappearing and reappearing.

Leo let out a louder moan, then slapped his own ass and muttered, "Thank you, Captain, I'll be quieter from now on."

Raph's mind could barely form thoughts. Leo... masturbating... carrot?... _kinky_... asshole... gay!

Wait, Leo wasn't gay! Just last week they'd all sneaked out of bed in the middle of the night to watch that martial arts movie, and Leo's eyes had been glued to the scantily clad Ninja Babe along with the rest of them! If he hadn't been titillated by her, then why...?

Raph nearly smacked his own forehead in realization. Of course – he should have realized! Leo had only been drooling over her blades! He'd blabbered about them for days! It was just like Leo to be turned on by _katana!_

But, as Raph was discovering, Leo was turned on by other things as well...

Leo grunted and sighed and shifted position, rolling over onto his plastron and raising his hips. Afraid of being seen, Raph quickly ducked back out the door – but stayed where he could peek around it. The hasty movement had almost made his cock slip out. Raph pressed his palm over his bulging slit to hold it in. The pressure felt amazing! But, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't jack off to his own brother! _Could he?_

Leo put a pillow under his hips and ground his cock into it as he resumed sliding his makeshift toy in and out. He clearly hadn't seen Raph – his eyes were on the poster by his bed.

That position looked awkward... Raph could step in and help him with it, maybe hold the carrot and let Leo rock back and forth on it, or – Raph mentally shook himself. No! This was Leo! Of all of his brothers to be so fucking sexy, why did it have to be Leo! And why did he have to be fantasizing about that stupid show!

Leo thrust the carrot faster and faster. Drool dripped from his open mouth. His pants and moans got louder until –

Leo raised his head to the ceiling and shouted – _full out shouted_ , "Captain Ryan!" Then he gave the carrot one last tremendous shove, took his hand away, smacked himself in the face again, and came all over the pillow.

Raph's cock slipped suddenly between his fingers and hit the door, nudging it open a little further. Afraid Leo would notice, Raph froze like a statue. Except for his hand, which didn't get the message.

But Leo didn't notice. His shell rising and falling as he panted, he collapsed forward onto the bed, muttering little snatches of sci-fi jargon between breaths. He pushed the carrot out of himself slowly without using his hands.

_Hoe. Lee. Fuuuck._

Raph just stood there, open-mouthed, only dimly aware that he was jerking himself off with all the self-restraint of a starving raccoon at a banquet.

But he couldn't have possibly imagined what Leo would do next.

"No Captain, that was the lowest setting. Try the next one? Yes sir, right away." Leo fumbled for something next to his bed, and held up a cucumber.

Leaving a streak of cum on Leo's door, Raph ran for his room.


End file.
